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Childfree by choice

As a child-free therapist (child-free by choice), I have recently been thinking about the expectations placed on those of us who have made the decision not to have children. There is a lot of societal pressure to have children. In addition to this, when finding someone to date, it can be difficult to find someone who doesn’t want children or doesn’t already have them (the latter may or may not be important to you).

People often feel they have the right to ask you why you don’t want them or suggest you will change your mind when you meet the right person *eyeroll*. It is quite sad to me that some people can’t comprehend why not everyone wants their life to revolve around a child. If that’s what they want, that is fair, best of luck to them. However, to not even be able to relate to why it isn’t for everyone, somewhat baffles me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing my friends’ kids. But I also love that I can pick and choose how often I am around them! You might not like kids at all and avoid seeing them altogether which is also fair. If only there was less judgement about how people choose to spend their time and the life choices they make. I had spoken to many people who have had children and tell me if they could go back in time, despite how much they love their child(ren), they wouldn’t have kids. Sadly, this is something they only feel able to share with me when they learn I am child free, because otherwise they worry about being judged.

There is nothing wrong with reflecting that you might have done things differently. It doesn’t make you less of a mother/father, it just means you have learned that things aren’t what they thought they would be.

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